I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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