Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
