Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
