I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Ladies don't puke and tell
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
