I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
