May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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