Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
