I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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