just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
