You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
