oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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