I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
