I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
