just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize