Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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