Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
