Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
