Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
