We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
