Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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