someone owes me an orgasm
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
