You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
She's the barista slut.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
