he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize