My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
