:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
