I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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