Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
