i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
It's blow job season.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
