he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
