whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
