My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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