THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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