I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
