Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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