Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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