I wish I could punch you in the face.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
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