some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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