Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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