you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
