I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
