Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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