I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
