I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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