Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
