Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
