Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
