the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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