You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
