At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
