i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
