No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
