Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
