doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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