i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
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