Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
