what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize