peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
