Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
bring money and cleavage
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
