I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
