yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize