she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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