you guys were way drunker than both of me
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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